Telling me my Chronic Fatigue is all about my state of mind - that if I could sort out the subsequent Depression then I would be fine - is akin to telling me if I could sort out my attitude to the pain of a broken leg, it would be fine to go running again.
Something is not functioning properly with my body. Stop telling me it's my fault because because I haven't sorted myself out mentally.
Sunday, 5 September 2010
Sunday, 13 June 2010
I don't really want to die
The thoughts of suicide are not really about wanting to die.
They are about wanting the emotional pain to stop, and not knowing of any other way to stop it.
Probably the majority of time I don't feel that level of emotional pain. But it is common nonetheless. And each time it returns, it feels like it has never left, and there is no other way of feeling.
It is a lie.
But it's a very convincing lie.
It might be gone in a few days.
It might be gone by tomorrow.
It might be gone a few minutes after I click "publish post".
I don't really want to die
I just want the pain to stop.
They are about wanting the emotional pain to stop, and not knowing of any other way to stop it.
Probably the majority of time I don't feel that level of emotional pain. But it is common nonetheless. And each time it returns, it feels like it has never left, and there is no other way of feeling.
It is a lie.
But it's a very convincing lie.
It might be gone in a few days.
It might be gone by tomorrow.
It might be gone a few minutes after I click "publish post".
I don't really want to die
I just want the pain to stop.
Friday, 23 April 2010
Constant
It's been a day of constant nagging fear and anxiety, even though nothing bad has actually happened.
I'm over tired.
And that means dealing with things is so much harder.
Making phone calls, returning emails, even leaving blog comments, are all too much. When faced with them, my stomach knots up.
So I play another game of Solitaire and hope it will just go away.
I'm over tired.
And that means dealing with things is so much harder.
Making phone calls, returning emails, even leaving blog comments, are all too much. When faced with them, my stomach knots up.
So I play another game of Solitaire and hope it will just go away.
Friday, 9 April 2010
First post
Being chronically tired isn't just about physical energy.
When we are tired, we find it much harder to battle the demons within, who tell us we are useless, pathetic and will never be able to cope.
When we are tired, we find it much harder to fight off fears, anxieties and depressions.
When we are tired, all we want to do is lie down and give in to the darkness.
Being chronically tired isn't just about physical energy.
Being chronically tired is all about the constant mental and emotional battles every day of our lives.
When we are tired, we find it much harder to battle the demons within, who tell us we are useless, pathetic and will never be able to cope.
When we are tired, we find it much harder to fight off fears, anxieties and depressions.
When we are tired, all we want to do is lie down and give in to the darkness.
Being chronically tired isn't just about physical energy.
Being chronically tired is all about the constant mental and emotional battles every day of our lives.
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