The thoughts of suicide are not really about wanting to die.
They are about wanting the emotional pain to stop, and not knowing of any other way to stop it.
Probably the majority of time I don't feel that level of emotional pain. But it is common nonetheless. And each time it returns, it feels like it has never left, and there is no other way of feeling.
It is a lie.
But it's a very convincing lie.
It might be gone in a few days.
It might be gone by tomorrow.
It might be gone a few minutes after I click "publish post".
I don't really want to die
I just want the pain to stop.
